You know what gets me the most?

Some say she wished too hard.
Some say she wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that she was gone....


When you see someone on the TV screen. whether it's someone you admire or just any other person suffering from depression or have suffered from it. you think "i bet you if i were there i could've helped them" and you start to build up all the bad things that the depression lead them to that they could have avoided if you were there to help them. but when you realize that someone closer to you is suffering from it everything turns the other direction. your thoughts, your feelings, and just everything you want to help them but don't really know how. it's sort of like you don't want to believe they have it and just lead on life without taking a pit stop. it's so hard to just talk face to face and say "you have a problem and it's okay we will get through it" i know some probably think "how is that so hard to say?" well it's definately not easy. remember this is the person that you know and you talk to on a daily bases. the person that always could make you laugh no matter what you were feeling sad, mad, happy, or whatever. you feel like everything is caving in all walls are getting smaller and the big world you once knew shrink before your eyes. you wonder what the future holds and when things will get better.


That's just one side of it though...


You just have this fear of certain things whatever it may be. you feel like nothing's going to get better and everything you do or say doesn't matter. anyway so what's the point of living. and all anyone says is "talk to someone" "people care about you" "be open" and you're thinking "what the hell? these people don't know how i feel. they can't say that i feel this or i feel that. i am my own person they don't know what i feel" and the truth of the matter is that you're exactly right. people can't tell you what you feel and i know i just said alot of 'how you feel' things. so i shouldn't be really the one to talk but ... and this might sound confusing, not sure but it's also your part to help them understand how you feel so they can actually help you with your problem that you are having. the main key here is HONESTY and im sorry but if you're not honest, nothing will get better. i hate to be the bad news breaker but im telling the truth. there is someone you have got to let in whoever it may be. just someone you can just tell them how you feel. someone who will listen. someone who won't tell you you're doing anything wrong. Just anyone... i know you may feel like there is no one there but it's not true there are people out there who REALLY do care and who REALLY want to help you. someone who won't JUST talk but also listen and won't cut to the chase and just say "oh yea you have got a problem" but someone who will get down to the source and figure out ways to help you. this might not be what you want to see and i know you may have different opinions and thats good too cause we all do.


For me, i try to help my friends in any way possible not only just listen but to help them find ways to help themselves. it's important to always be there for anyone who needs it...Life is too short to waste time only thinking of yourself so why not just take a minute and think of other people?


~somewhere over the rainbow~
^o^ zaffy ^o^